Tag Archives: Slaanesh

Cracking The WIP – Dreadtober Part 1

Ah, the first Dreadtober update! I had such plans you know! Such things to show you! Alas my grand vision remains unfulfilled. Between work’s cruel yolk and the loving embrace of Grandpappy Nurgle, wrapping his arms around me, blessing me with his gifts and begging me not to leave him for Slaanesh, my progress has been slower than I might have wished.

Now that’s not to say I’ve got nothing to show you, it’s just that I planned to have the model completely assembled and ready for paint already and it’s simply not got there yet. Still, this is one of the most complex conversions I’ve ever attempted, an amalgam of plastic, plasticard, metal, resin and greenstuff so I shall be kind to myself and remind myself that getting this right is the most important thing, and that’s there’s still a lot of month to go.

Still – enough excuses! I have at least managed to get this monster to a stage where it can be tacked together enough that you can get a feel for how it’s going to look on completion, and get your feedback in. sonic-dreadnaught-convertordie-1

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As you can see there’s still a bit of work to do before he’s ready for paint but progress is being made. The claw arm needs a lot of work before it’s ready to be attached properly and will most likely be raised a little, the tack isn’t strong enough to prevent it drooping under its own weight (insert your own Slaaneshi joke here). There’s also a bit more greenstuff work to do, the base needs done and both shin-guards are coming off so it’s easier to freehand/sculpt/whatever I decide to do with them. Here’s a close up of the arm which as I say still needs a lot of greenstuff before it’s ready to roll. sonic-dreadnaught-convertordie-5

And here’s a look at the howling faces on the warp amp. sonic-dreadnaught-convertordie-4

There’s also a few ideas which I originally planned for this dread but which are proving unsuitable in practice. Slowly they coalesce at the back of my brain, drawing in scraps of other ideas and generating fresh ones. After all once I’ve made a dreadnaught for Khorne, Nurgle and Slaanesh then poor old Tzeentch is going to be feeling a little left out…


Resurrecting The Lost Factions of 40k?

Over the last year or so 40k has changed considerably. Things which we once believed to have been banished to the dusty corners forever are back. The Adeptus Mechanicus have marched out of their manufactories with the might of the Imperial Knights by their sides. Once more the Wulfen howl in the night, whilst the Harlequins spring forth from their library and the Genestealer Cults come crawling from the shadows. It’s enough to make one wonder what’s left. If Games Workshop are trawling their own history for ideas – and frankly that’s good news in my book – then can there be much left to resurrect? Well, once I sat down and started writing a list, it turns out there’s quite a lot…

We Are Chaos!

Let’ start with the forces of Chaos – a faction naturally close to my heart. In many ways Games Workshop have built themselves a beast that’s difficult to ride here due to the sheer multifaceted nature of a faction that straddles both of its central games systems. There are four pantheons of daemons, a very conservative five ‘types’ of chaos marines (one for each god plus unaligned traitors – and that pushes the likes of the Iron Warriors and Night Lords to the fringes once more), the traitor guard and then the same again on the Fantasy side of the fence. Keeping it all fresh is a mammoth task and there’s always going to be someone who feels that their particular element of the faction is being under represented with releases.

On the plus side Chaos has always been a convertors’ army. By cannibalising Warhammer and Age of Sigmar both Khorne and Nurgle fans can create a plethora of futuristic barbarians, whilst those who’s taste is for bitter old legionaries need only visit Forgeworld’s Horus Heresy range. This opens up the opportunity for Games Workshop to thin down the task into something manageable. Of course everyone has their own personal wishlist of things they’d like to see – personally I’m looking for multipart cultists, obliterators and something to be done about the tanks (ten thousand years in the Warp and all that’s happened to them is someone’s nailed on a few spikes).

Over in Age of Sigmar the forces of Chaos have been split down into a whopping 20 factions (frankly I may have miscounted – once the numbers get that high I start to get dizzy). Of course that includes the Skaven, as well as factions like the Chaos Gargants that only include one model, but my point stands. Perhaps the problem in 40k is that everyone aligned to Chaos is crammed  into just two factions – Chaos Space Marines and Chaos Daemons. Compare this to the five different colours of Loyalists and we start to see a discrepancy. Should Blood Angels and Space Wolves exist as a single unit entry in Codex Space Marines in the same way as Plague Marines and Thousand Sons do? Would the servants of the gods not be better served with a Codex and model line all of their own, separate from  – but supported by – a central Chaos Codex? Many people are starting to think so. Of course if they did take this route there’s a couple of the gods just dying for their place in the sun at last…

Bring The Noise!

Grab your long grubby mac – it’s time to talk about Slaanesh! These days the Prince of Pleasure seems to be suffering from something of an image crisis. Rumour and supposition abounds that Games Workshop are wary of upsetting their younger fans – or more accurately their credit card wielding parents – with too much naked hedonism. The god’s absence from Age of Sigmar has only served to fan the flames, although personally I’m struck by how much attention Games Workshop have deliberately drawn to this, suggesting that they’re setting up the return of the faction at a later stage in the advancing storyline, probably alongside a relaunch of the elves. Whether this (hypothetical) resurgence of love for the Youngest God makes its way into 40k or not remains to be seen. If not we can always hope that a few kits of similar quality to the Blightkings might do for Slaanesh what the festering fatmen did for Nurgle, in terms of conversion fodder. Given a bit of love and attention however and the followers of Slaanesh have the potential to develop into one of the most stylish and visually arresting factions around, with sonic weapons, body modification and plenty of glamour abounding – and with not a boob in sight if that’s how the designers want to play it.

I could probably spin my notes for this out into a blog of their own if I let myself (or perhaps even a book of roughly War-and-Peace like proportions) but I’ll restrain myself to saying that – although I’m not promoting prudishness – a version of Slaanesh that focuses more on the decadence and weirdness and less on the tits and ass is a sacrifice I’m perfectly happy with if it brings She-Who-Thirsts back into the game.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Almost as overlooked as Slaanesh is his/her brother-god Tzeentch, and like the Prince of Pleasure the Changer of Ways also has an image problem. In the case of the latter it’s less a matter of offending the buying public (although personally I reckon anyone with a sense of athletics is liable to find those pink horrors offensive) and more a case of creating something that makes sense out of a concept that is essentially ephemeral and ever changing. It’s a tricky one but – amongst the daemons at least – Tzeentch’s followers are now fairly well represented. I might have preferred something a little more ‘Lovecraftian crawling horror’ and less ‘cartoon character’ but that’s a matter of personal taste. Now it would be nice to see some more emphasis on the god’s mortal followers; mad sorcerers, mutants, beastmen and of course the Thousand Sons themselves. Of all the gods Tzeentch is the chance for them to be the most creative, to come up with something visually arresting and unique. Fans are already producing some wonderfully strange Tzeentchian creations (check out these from Big Boss Redskullz for example) but more official support for the faction would be extremely welcome. In the wake of the Skitarii they’ve demonstrated that they’re more than capable of realising their grim-dark weirdness in plastic and models like the Gaunt Summoner show they still have good ideas when it comes to Tzeentchian weirdness. Time to bring them out of the shadows I say!

Guant Summoner

The Gaunt Summoner – a sign of things to come for an expanded Tzeentchian faction?

Tide of madness: This classic Tony Ackland picture captures a large part of the horror and strangeness that I would like to see associated with Tzeentch in the future.

Nuns On The Run

The other day I stumbled upon some notes I’d made for a blog post I’d intended to write but which never saw publication. They dated back to the very early days of this blog and referred to some early, sketchy, ideas I’d put together for my traitor guard (long before the project actually got off the ground). In it I quipped that much as I was looking forwards to plastic Sisters of Battle they’d better release plastic Mechanicum first, and maybe revisit the Wulfen whilst they were about it! Oh how I must have chortled to write those words. After all, plastic Sisters were certainly only a few months away at most – whilst the chances of anything coming from Mars were, as we all know, a million to one. Who would have imagined that the passage of years would see the priesthood of the Omnissiah reborn in stylish plastic, whilst the brides of the Emperor continue to languish in an ever decreasing collection of elderly finecast and metal?

It’s not just the girls in power armour that are missing though, it’s the whole ecclesiarchy. The vibe of 40k has always been both grim and grand, darkly gothic and gleefully over-the-top all. The Church of the Emperor has always been the epitome of this, and provides a way to bring that look onto the tabletop without needing to change GW’s established formula for other major branches of the Imperium – particularly the Space Marines and Astra Militarum.

In some ways I can understand GW reluctance to move here – and I’m sure there are plenty of senior managers there shaking their heads and wishing they’d never got into this. The fact is if they play it too safe there’s bound to be complaints that they’ve failed to give the faction its due, yet go too risqué and controversy will undoubtedly follow. It’s Slaanesh all over again. However between the bondage nuns and the catholic pomp however there lies a window of opportunity in which to recreate a faction which not only has a legion of dedicated fans in its own right but also provides an opportunity to round out the Imperium as a whole. My solution? Make the faction more about the Ecclesiarchy, throw in more weird and wonderful machines (the Exorcist is already an organ on wheels – and not in the Slaaneshi sense…), avoid over-sexualising the female characters (never really as big an issue here as it’s been made out to be) and bring the armies of the faithful back to the forefront of 40k where they belong.

Penitent Engine

The Penitent Engine – brilliantly encapsulating the pomp and strangeness of the 41st Millennium.

Guards! Guards!

I talked about this just recently so I’ll keep this snappy to avoid repeating myself. I also accept that this isn’t so much a missing faction as an overlooked element of one that already exists – and in fairly large numbers.

However the fact remains that the Imperial Guard are extremely well represented when it comes to models – so long as you like Cadians or Catachans. If, on the other hand, your predilections lean towards any of the other famous regiments – or even just something a little more in keeping with the 40k aesthetic than Rambo and the Little Green Army Men then your options are thin on the ground.

As it stands the Astra Militarum (as I’ve still not learned to call them) range is pretty well fleshed out, with most options now available in plastic and more tanks on show than a goldfish emporium. Now’s the time to bring back the Steel Legion, Talarns, Valhallans, Vostroyans and all the rest – and create a faction worthy of the diversity that is the core of the Imperium.

Roguish Types

In spite of everything I’ve said above regarding the Sisters of Battle and the Imperial Guard the Imperium is actually extremely well stocked with factions. In many ways this is their right – the story of 40k is, after all, the story of the Imperium at the moment of its decline and fall. The other factions exist almost entirely as counterpoints and adversaries, their differing philosophies used to bring perspective to the story of the Imperium,  their armies the savage beasts which will pull the realms of men down.

None the less, with five types of Space Marines, two (easily combined) sections of the Adeptus Mechanicus, the Inquisition, the Assassins, the Knights – plus the aforementioned Sisterhood and Guard – do they really need another? I would argue that the answer is yes, we need the Rogue Traders. The conquistadors of the far future have been part of 40k for such a long time that the original game was named after them, yet they remain an unexplored faction. Giving them their own range would not only offer another opportunity to dig into the weirdness that is 40k’s trademark but set up another angle on the grim-darkness, the grasping greed and expansionism as opposed  to the oppression and desperate clinging to power that the other factions already cover.

A Little Help From My Friends

The Tau Empire has always been marketed as the great coalition – dozens of species brought together in the name of the Greater Good. The fish-heads are ever optimistic about recruiting more races to join their quest for a new, hope-full and inspired galaxy. Unfortunately for them all the big names prefer xenophobia, planet-wide brutality and the mocking laughter of thirsting gods but one can but try. However as the Tau range has expanded we’ve seen more and more of their high-tech fighting prowess and less and less of their alien allies. In some ways I can see the value in this – by introducing all kinds of strange aliens there’s a risk of it looking like a rabble on the tabletop. Nonetheless the concept remains at the core of the Tau background, and yet appears on the tabletop only via some increasingly elderly-looked Vespids and Kroot. With the Tau range now armed to the teeth with fancy walkers (with even fancier guns) maybe it’s time to get out there and start making friends?

Vespids

Always the Bridesmaid – Never the Flesh Eating Alien
Continuing from that last point brings us neatly to the Tau’s oldest – and bestest – friends of all; the Kroot. Yet for all their supposed camaraderie with the space-communists the Kroot are an altogether more complex beast than is allowed by their status as perpetual best friend and bit-part sidekick. Their strange ecology whereby all the creatures of their homeworld look a lot like each other not only brings a unique visual style to 40k but undoubtedly makes for some unusual creation myths (what Kroot-Adam got up to with the birds and beasts of Kroot-Eden is probably best left to the darker reaches of fan-fictiondom…).
What’s more their background paints them as roving mercenaries and bandits, happy to lend a hand to whoever will feed them and not above savaging outlying colonies if they don’t get their way. The Kroot also have a pre-existing range that would make them perfect for a smaller codex not dissimilar to the Harlequins. The Carnivores squad has stood the test of time fairly well but new Kroot Hounds, a clampack Shaper, a revisited Krootox weapon platform, some kind of elite or specialist unit and of course the obligatory big kit in the form of the return of the big chap below – and we’re all set for the people of Pech to throw off the Tau’s shackles and take their rightful place in the galaxy.

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All this and no mention of the hairy bikers (not the chefs but the Squats)? It’s probably for the best! What about the Hrud or the Zoats, the Custodes or the Arbites? If there’s a faction you think I’ve missed, or if you think I’m wrong and you want the world to know about it, then speak your mind in the comment’s box below.


2015 – For Anyone Who Missed It

Well here we are at the very end of 2015 and what a year it’s been! In fact as I sit down to write this review it’s hard to know what to pick as the standout moments. The death of Warhammer? The birth of its golden armoured offspring Age of Sigmar? Bloodthristers tearing their way out of the Warp and onto tabletops across the world? Harlequins?

If I had to pick one though it would be the arrival of the AdMech as a fully realised range of plastic miniatures. Now some of you are probably shaking your heads a little at that and thinking “What’s he on about? He’s not painted a single Skitarii! He can’t spell half their names! He’s a foul heritek, what does he care about the loyal servers of the Omnissiah?”

On that front I’ll admit to being guilty of all charges, but let me offer a few words in my defence. To me the Adeptus Mechanicus is the most iconic of all 40k’s factions (yeah, take it Space Marines!) but for a long time it looked like they were forever lost in the warp, their emergence onto the tabletop nothing more than a pipe dream. In many ways (and I’m sure some of you will be accusing me of being a GW apologist for this) their appearance gives me hope that – even if it takes a while – Thousand Sons, Noise Marines, Sisters of Battle, and all the other overlooked elements of 40k will someday make it onto the production line and into our homes. As a society we’re not very good at being patient but I’ve got plenty of models to paint and time enough to wait. The chances of anything coming from Mars was a million to one they said. Yet still they came.

I already expressed my enthusiasm for the release back here and trust me – I may not have painted any yet but their time will come.

Now before delving into my own output this year I do want to (briefly) mention Age of Sigmar (cue groans from the crowd and a hasty assumption of entrenched positions).

Warhammer fans study the latest release for Age of Sigmar.

I’ve not learned to stop worrying and love Age of Sigmar – in fact my long standing issues with Warhammer have been replaced by a rosy nostalgia that glosses over the cracks and makes AoS seem even more bland and uninspired than it would on its own merits. I’m from 40k after all where neophobia is less of a problem and more of a way of life. However I just read Godless by David Guymer and the Slaaneshi warriors are just spot on. The disappearance of their god has rendered them complex and nuanced in a way they could never quite reach when they were winning. Their lamenting, aching horror at the denial of their prince grants them a real depth and poignance. I almost don’t want them to find Slaanesh (in the overall story-arch of AoS I mean, not the short story itself – no spoilers here!). However I’m willing to guess that everything we’ve seen so far is the set up for the quest to see Slaanesh freed – accompanied by new models for the Elves and their Slaaneshi opponents. When that day comes I hope they take a few tips from Guymer’s text in describing the appearance of the Dark Prince’s servants – seeing characters of that style captured by the same team that brought us the Putrid Blightkings and Bloodreavers would restore Slaanesh to the glory she deserves both in the hearts and the collections of Chaos fans everywhere.

First of all though there’s plenty of other gaps need filled if Age of Sigmar is to rise from Warhammer’s shadow and I think we’d all be highly surprised if a big chunk of 2016 isn’t devoted to this. Current rumours suggest that Dwarves may be just around the corner (and apparently they’ve taken to communicating in text-speak and they’re after your gold).

Let’s be honest – after all that talk of Slaanesh the skull is really thinking “5318008”

Anyway, I’m not just here to talk about what’s been going on in the wider hobby. I’m also here to talk about myself because, to be frank, I think I’m really quite interesting. For me it’s been a year in which my hobby output has been defined by Chaos (with both a capital and a small c). My loyalist space marines have slipped to the very back of the backburner and my poor Orks haven’t seen a brush since January but the Beasts of Ruin have gone from strength to strength.

As soon as I’d finished updating my Orks I started work on a little band of Khorne worshipping Terminators. At some point I’ll probably add another four to reach Khorne’s holy number of eight (someone at GW must be kicking themselves thinking ‘They keep adding models to make squads of eight. Why didn’t we think to make Khorne’s holy number 30?!’)

I also upped the number of Helbrutes in my collection to four – including the Nurgle infested Igorin Rotbringer (second from the right). To the left of him you’ll see the Ironghast Fury – another of this year’s new additions and the first model I’ve created as part of an online event. Dreadtober ran through October 2015 and encouraged as many people as possible to produce a Dreadnaught/Helbrute/Deff Dread or similar. If you’ve not already been to the site it really is time you did, feast your eyes on inspiration here. I’m not ashamed to admit that the Fury would still be unpainted if it wasn’t for this event so this won’t be the last time I do something like this either.
As well as the new Helbrutes I also added some new HQ units including a fallen Grey Knight, and finally got around to putting paint on the Chaos Lord from Dark Vengeance.

Nurgle continued to be a big influence on me throughout the year – mostly as a result of my ongoing experimentation with the Putrid Blightkings. As well as the Helbrute I showed above I also created this Daemon Prince – easily one of the most difficult conversions I’ve ever attempted and a forceful reminder to me that if you keep pushing yourself you’ll create better and better models (or stranger and stranger at least). Read more about him here.
Continuing the Nurgle theme I also decided to come back to my Plague Marines, another unit which dates back to the very beginning of my Chaos collection. I felt it was time to bring the squad to a conclusion (and so inevitably started another straight away). You can see what’s planned for the second squad here and here . Don’t worry though, this won’t be the last you see of Golothess and the boys.
I’ve also managed to add three Dark Apostles to the ranks this year. One to speak to the followers of Chaos Undivided.
One to consecrate the skulls taken in Khorne’s name.

And one to preach to the servants of Nurgle, from the smallest virus to the mightiest Daemon Prince.
Obviously that means I ought to make one each for Slaanesh and Tzeentch as well. A job for 2016 then…

Another job for 2016 will be continuing to build up my squads of Nurgle Chosen and Terminators. As it stands most of them are still in need of paint but here’s the first two finished.And of course I finished off my first full squad of Chaos Marines (which you may recall I showed just the other day).
Not all of the followers of the Dark Gods wear power armour however and this year I was able to get started on a long standing ambition; the Lost and the Damned. Alongside Ad Mech this is the army that I’ve aspired to most over the years so I’m extremely pleased to have this little lot painted at last. Expect to see a lot more of them in 2016.
If recaps of the year are your thing and you’re starting to panic that I’ve almost run out of words then I highly recommend heading to Heresy and Heroes or Big Boss Red Skulls (the latter is particularly exciting because he talks about me!). I’m also waiting (im)patiently for KrautScientist’s annual Eternal Hunt Awards but sadly they’re not up yet. Keep an eye out though – he assures us they’re on their way and they’re always well worth a look. Edit: And as promised the first part of the Eternal Hunt awards are now up so if you’ve missed them, have a look here.

Hopefully that little lot should give you something to read until I’m back in the new year, accompanied by a retinue of cheerful, excitable and unhygienic sidekicks. You have been warned!


My Skin Of Deceit

Ages ago I asked you all for help with a project. ‘People of the internet’, I cried, ‘help me come up with ideas for Chaos Marines’. Most of you refrained. With retrospect I think I made the explanation far too complicated – all I really wanted was for you to pick a number between 1 and 1000. I would then look at the Personal Attributes table from Slaves to Darkness and either make whatever you’d selected or embarrass myself by failing in the effort.

As an aside, if you’re currently thinking “that’s a rad idea – my favourite number is 513!” then I’m sorry to say the project is on temporary hiatus. Due to the wonderful vagrancies of working contracts I’m currently living out of a suitcase in temporary lodgings and my copy of Slaves to Darkness is resting in storage. Once I’m settled somewhere again I’ll probably do more things like this so you’ll get another chance.
Anyway, most of you got shy and that’s fair enough.

Anyway, most of you got shy and that’s fair enough. Teselación wasn’t shy though. They took on the challenge I’d set, roared like a lion and typed 666 into the comment box. Obviously that was just so heavy metal I had to go for it. The mutation, when I looked it up, was ‘Multiple Heads’, with the designers adding a succinct description ‘The mutant grows one or more extra heads’. Presumably they felt there wasn’t much more they could add without becoming patronising.
Anyway, we kicked around some ideas including a Slaaneshi half male, half female androgynous creature (still have some options on the backburner that may or may not see that one realised in the future) and the old-fashioned ‘stick two heads on one body’ trick (tried this with a space marine – it looked awful).
It was at this point I stumbled on a few lines from the novel The Talon of Horus by Aaron Dembski-Bowden (so many good ideas in that book – let me yet again sincerely advise you to go and buy a copy at once).

“The empyrean’s alterations and flesh-changes are not accidental, indiscriminate mutations. The warp… reshapes them, siphoning the secrets of their souls and writing those truths upon their mortal flesh…This is the simplest truth of life in the Great Eye. Everyone sees your sins, your secrets and lusts, written plain across your flesh”.

Frankly I love the idea. What makes the story of the Horus Heresy and the fall of the Legions so compelling is the way that their own nature turns against them, the fact that their choices are – for the most part – reasonable, logical, even noble and high-minded (not you Night Lords), yet they are damned by them nonetheless. Thus it makes sense that the mutations visited upon them in the Eye of Terror do not come so much from a mad god handing out extra eyes, limbs and so on like trinkets, but from the inner, at times unacknowledged, nature of the individual themselves. The same nature which drew certain Legions to the service of individual gods now reshapes them to better suit that god’s nature. Thus Khorne doesn’t pause from being angry to say “You could really use a sword for an arm – and you’ve been doing good work for me so here you go. Nice one buddy”. Instead the same compulsion to kill that drew the marine to Khorne in the first place is manifested in their flesh. It makes the Gods much more formless, ineffable and Lovecraftian (which is my personal preference for them) and less like Olympian characters with a personal interest in their subjects.

Suddenly a character started to develop in my mind. Here we have someone who has proven to be two-faced, who tries to hide their thoughts behind a mask and, having double-crossed those who should have been his allies, now needs to keep a constant watch over his shoulder. The result was this guy:

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chaos-space-marine-convert-or-die-5Quite pleased with this shoulder pad by the way, it slightly freaks me out every time I look at it and even though in the end I went for an undivided chaos marine it serves as a nice reference to the original Slaaneshi ideas.
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Anyway, hope you like him, cheers to Teselación for the idea and, as usual, any comments/suggestions/ideas I can steal/etc are welcome in the comments box below.


Lord of the Woods

I love Chaos armies with a strong theme to them, built around a particular warband, legion or god. There’s just something amazing about someone picking out a detail of the 40k universe and pursuing it to such depth and with such dedication. That isn’t me though. I’ve got a butterfly mind, shackled to the attention span of a particularly lacklustre goldfish and a banker’s covetousness, rolled together to create a weird chimerical beast with brushes for hands and madness in its heart. Chaos Marines? Yes please! Daemons? Sure, why not! Daemon engines? Sign me up! Traitor guard? Sure thing (more on them soon)! Khorne? Nurgle? Tzeentch? Absolutely! Slaanesh? Why that’s what this post is about!
Thus, although I’ve got various Khornate and Nurgly projects to work on, here I am face to face with She-Who-Thirsts (but not working on my Noise Marines…). slaanesh-convert-or-die-7I’ve had this guy on my painting desk for a while now but he’s progressed really, really sloooowly. To make the model I had to start by decapitating a Beastmen Shaman, something that took a lot of willpower to go through with (picking up a nice new model you’ve just bought and hacking at it with a knife seems to be flirting with disaster in my book). Carving away the neck and the back of the skull from the new head wasn’t particularly pleasant either – it’s a nice component which I’d considered for various projects before settling on using it for Yegg-ha and I didn’t want to stall the project which I waited for a replacement. I’ll admit to being quite impatient – things like that have killed my enthusiasm for several projects in the past.I’ve had this guy on my painting desk for a while now but he’s progressed really, really sloooowly. To make the model I had to start by decapitating a Beastmen Shaman, something that took a lot of willpower to go through with (picking up a nice new model you’ve just bought and hacking at it with a knife seems to be flirting with disaster in my book). Carving away the neck and the back of the skull from the new head wasn’t particularly pleasant either – it’s a nice component which I’d considered for various projects before settling on using it for Yegg-ha and I didn’t want to stall the project which I waited for a replacement. I’ll admit to being quite impatient – things like that have killed my enthusiasm for several projects in the past.slaanesh-convert-or-die-10

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slaanesh-convert-or-die-8I imagine a huge chamber at heart of Kell’s flagship, the Blood Eagle, a hanger cleared out and transformed into a warped garden. At its heart stands a cathedral to Chaos within which the Sorcerers and Dark Apostles of the Beasts of Ruin summon daemons. The garden itself is left tainted, the children of all four gods roosting amid the contorted architecture and fighting petty wars over this strange space, a microcosm of the Great Game. Currently command of the Dark Prince’s forces goes to Yegg-ha, Herald of Slaanesh and self declared Lord of the Woods.

What do you mean that’s not enough for you? You’re greedy you are, greedy! Luckily Slaanesh loves you for your avarice so here’s three of Yegg-ha’s ladies to join the party (don’t say I’m not good to you!)
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slaanesh-convert-or-die-5And last of all a little group shot!
slaanesh-convert-or-die-4And there we have it. As you should know by now it’ll be something totally different next week!


Atrocities Absurdities

Alright Internet, let’s you and me get interactive. I’ve spoken before about my love of truly chaotic Chaos, well this is your chance to encourage and contribute to that madness.

Some of you, especially old crusties like myself, may remember the Personal Chaos Attributes tables from the book Slaves to Darkness*. If you, like me, love massive random attribute tables then this has to be one of the seminal greats. Selecting an attribute from the table requires the use of a D1000 (that is to say a theoretical thousand faceted die – the result found by rolling other dice in combination to achieve a cumulative or multiplied score).

*who am I kidding? That book’s only four years younger than I am – I got a second hand copy as a present from my girlfriend and I’ve treasured it. I still dig through its weird and wonderful pages finding new ideas and inspiration.

Anyway, I’ve decided to dispense with complicated mathematics and thousand sided dice and get you lot involved instead. Your job is to pick a number between 1 and 1000 and post it in the comments box below. Whatever you come up with I’ll have a look at the table and then try to model your suggestion into my army. Exactly what I do with your suggestion is up to me although of course you’re very welcome to chip in with your own ideas. If you have a copy of the book yourself (good on ya!) and want to pick something devilishly difficult then that’s fine too.

I’ll add that there’s a few options on the table I won’t be doing. Chaos Lord (231-240) and Chaos Spawn (241-250) are units that I’ll come to in my own time. A friend of mine suffers from fits so, although it’s an option on the table (411-415), it’s not something I want to model. Oh and we also have GM’s choice (426-440) which is a bit pointless as it just puts the ball back in my court, and that’s not the aim of this exercise at all.

Other than that the floor, ladies and gentlemen, is all yours.

To get the ball rolling here’s a couple of examples.

First of all I picked a number myself (613) which gave me Mankin. Here’s what Slaves to Darkness has to say about it:

“Most of the mutant’s facial features atrophy and disappear, until only the mouth is functional. Meanwhile, a miniature body sprouts from the mutant’s forehead or crown. This manikin torso is perfect in every detail, with its own arms, head and face.
This miniature torso and head do all the talking for the mutant, and the lower mouth is used only for eating”.

Based on this description here’s what I came up with.
chaos-space-marine-evil-packpack-convert-or-die-2

chaos-space-marine-convert-or-die-back-3

chaos-space-marine-evil-packpack-convert-or-die-1

chaos-space-marine-convert-or-die-back-1

chaos-space-marine-convert-or-die-back-2

As you can see I deviated from the original description on several points; the manikin sprouting not from the marine’s head but from his backpack, and instead of a normal human shape it’s a shrunken, limbless horror, clinging parasitically to the back of its strong (but now presumably mindless) host. A Master-Blaster for the 41st Millenium if you will.
By way of creating a second example I asked Janice Duke (creator of the banner you see at the top of the page) to come up with a number. She picked 342 which gives us Enormous Noise. Again let’s look at what Slaves to Darkness has to say:

“The mutant periodically produces a deafening sound: a wild, magic laugh, a mighty (and disgusting) breaking of wind, a crazed scream or wail, or any other noise that you may care to devise”.

Obviously this is slightly more challenging, you can’t exactly model an enormous noise after all. Instead I started to think about what kind of Chaos Marine would produce an enormous noise. I could have gone for some Nurgly belching but we’ve already been there. Instead I thought a return to Slaanesh might be in order. You may remember I’d decided to replace this guy in my (still very much WIP) Noise Marine squad.
Noise ChampionHere we had a perfect opportunity to come up with something new, and noisy of course.
NoiseMarineNoise ChampNoise ChampNoiseChampHe’s not perfect yet but I’m pretty pleased with him, especially the huge mouth in his belly (pushing my greenstuff skills a little there). Of course I’ve already got some ideas for a few tweaks before he’s ready for paint but this should give you some idea of the direction I’m going in.
Anyway, there we have it – now it’s over to you. Pick a number between 1 and 1000 and let’s see where we end up! Oh and as usual any comments, criticisms or suggestions – especially about Mr Enormous Noise, are welcome in the box below.


Murderers Are Getting Prettier Every Day

After all the Nurgle in the last post I reckon it’s time for a little break from the bells and bowels (but don’t worry there’s more on the way – my pact with the God of Life and Death remains strong!). In the meantime though, here’s a model that’s been sitting on my painting desk for far too long waiting for me to get around to finishing him off. Noise Marine I’ve always wanted my Black Crusade to take in the supporters of all four gods, yet up to this point I’ve ended up with a primarily Nurgly/Khornate force (plus a large undivided contingent). Mostly this is because Nurgle and Khorne have some unbelievably amazing models whilst Slaanesh and Tzeentch are a little lacking. This isn’t to repeat the rants that many people have had already about this imbalance, rather I see the treatment of Khorne and Nurgle as a positive sign and hope that someday we’ll see their brother gods fleshed out in the same way. In the meantime though I’ve found myself making several abortive attempts to add some converted Noise Marines to my collection in the stead of the lacklustre official models. This chap, however, represents the first time I’ve actually been happy with the result. Noise MarineNoise Marine When making the rest of the squad I’m not sure if I’ll continue using the Dark Eldar torsos – although I’m pleased with the result it took a lot of fiddling around with greenstuff to cover the gaps that resulted from the slimness of his torso compared to the larger space marine parts. Again as I’ve got various other projects on my desk at the moment I won’t be doing anything with them for a while so I’ve got plenty of time to think about it. Noise MarineNoise Marine Having finished the Noise Marine I thought I’d take the opportunity to show off this chap as well (although how much he deserves to be ‘shown off’ is debatable). He’s an early conversion from a time when my untamed imagination rather overreached my meagre skill and the result, although containing (in my opinion) some gems, rather fell short. I’ve picked him up a few times over the years, tweaking him here and there to make improvements but I doubt he’ll ever form a part of the finished Noise Marine squad. Take a look: Noise Marine I’m still quite pleased with the blastmaster and the head (a fairly new addition replacing the frankly awful old one), but somehow it doesn’t quite work as a cohesive whole. Never mind, I’m fond of him all the same. Noise ChampionNoise ChampionNoise Championnull Anyway, as usual any comments on how I could improve things for the rest of the squad are more than welcome in the box below (but don’t give me abuse – as a new convert of Slaanesh I’ll only enjoy it!) More Nurgly guts soon!