Atrocities Absurdities

Alright Internet, let’s you and me get interactive. I’ve spoken before about my love of truly chaotic Chaos, well this is your chance to encourage and contribute to that madness.

Some of you, especially old crusties like myself, may remember the Personal Chaos Attributes tables from the book Slaves to Darkness*. If you, like me, love massive random attribute tables then this has to be one of the seminal greats. Selecting an attribute from the table requires the use of a D1000 (that is to say a theoretical thousand faceted die – the result found by rolling other dice in combination to achieve a cumulative or multiplied score).

*who am I kidding? That book’s only four years younger than I am – I got a second hand copy as a present from my girlfriend and I’ve treasured it. I still dig through its weird and wonderful pages finding new ideas and inspiration.

Anyway, I’ve decided to dispense with complicated mathematics and thousand sided dice and get you lot involved instead. Your job is to pick a number between 1 and 1000 and post it in the comments box below. Whatever you come up with I’ll have a look at the table and then try to model your suggestion into my army. Exactly what I do with your suggestion is up to me although of course you’re very welcome to chip in with your own ideas. If you have a copy of the book yourself (good on ya!) and want to pick something devilishly difficult then that’s fine too.

I’ll add that there’s a few options on the table I won’t be doing. Chaos Lord (231-240) and Chaos Spawn (241-250) are units that I’ll come to in my own time. A friend of mine suffers from fits so, although it’s an option on the table (411-415), it’s not something I want to model. Oh and we also have GM’s choice (426-440) which is a bit pointless as it just puts the ball back in my court, and that’s not the aim of this exercise at all.

Other than that the floor, ladies and gentlemen, is all yours.

To get the ball rolling here’s a couple of examples.

First of all I picked a number myself (613) which gave me Mankin. Here’s what Slaves to Darkness has to say about it:

“Most of the mutant’s facial features atrophy and disappear, until only the mouth is functional. Meanwhile, a miniature body sprouts from the mutant’s forehead or crown. This manikin torso is perfect in every detail, with its own arms, head and face.
This miniature torso and head do all the talking for the mutant, and the lower mouth is used only for eating”.

Based on this description here’s what I came up with.





As you can see I deviated from the original description on several points; the manikin sprouting not from the marine’s head but from his backpack, and instead of a normal human shape it’s a shrunken, limbless horror, clinging parasitically to the back of its strong (but now presumably mindless) host. A Master-Blaster for the 41st Millenium if you will.
By way of creating a second example I asked Janice Duke (creator of the banner you see at the top of the page) to come up with a number. She picked 342 which gives us Enormous Noise. Again let’s look at what Slaves to Darkness has to say:

“The mutant periodically produces a deafening sound: a wild, magic laugh, a mighty (and disgusting) breaking of wind, a crazed scream or wail, or any other noise that you may care to devise”.

Obviously this is slightly more challenging, you can’t exactly model an enormous noise after all. Instead I started to think about what kind of Chaos Marine would produce an enormous noise. I could have gone for some Nurgly belching but we’ve already been there. Instead I thought a return to Slaanesh might be in order. You may remember I’d decided to replace this guy in my (still very much WIP) Noise Marine squad.
Noise ChampionHere we had a perfect opportunity to come up with something new, and noisy of course.
NoiseMarineNoise ChampNoise ChampNoiseChampHe’s not perfect yet but I’m pretty pleased with him, especially the huge mouth in his belly (pushing my greenstuff skills a little there). Of course I’ve already got some ideas for a few tweaks before he’s ready for paint but this should give you some idea of the direction I’m going in.
Anyway, there we have it – now it’s over to you. Pick a number between 1 and 1000 and let’s see where we end up! Oh and as usual any comments, criticisms or suggestions – especially about Mr Enormous Noise, are welcome in the box below.

12 responses to “Atrocities Absurdities

  • Les

    Paul, someone has to do it.

    1,000 I say!

    • Wudugast

      Well mate someone had to aim high! You got “Invent Your Own” so it’s over to you again. Describe something and I’ll try to make it (and I say that with a little trepidation because I know it’ll be something brilliant and fiendish – you named this blog after all!)

  • Teselación

    Do they follow the canon demonic fluff? 😉 Let’s try 666! On the “Noise” Marine… Pose-wise, If he’s torso was leaning back, the hold feeling of screaming to the air would be more apparent. Damn I like those tubes you sculpted…

    • Wudugast

      Cheers! I used the tentacle maker from Greenstuff Industries, best hobby investment I’ve made lately.
      Good suggestion about the pose, I reckon that’d make a big difference. Now you say it I think I got a little caught up in the details and didn’t think about the overall look of the model which leaves him a little static.
      666 eh? Guaranteed to appeal to the heavy metal fan in me 🙂 The answer is a classic as well ‘Multiple Heads’. It doesn’t give much in the way of a description (‘The mutant grows one or more extra heads’) but then there’s not much more to say is there? Reckon I can do something with that but if you have any suggestions you want to add I’m all ears (not literally, that’s a different mutation…)

      • Teselación

        Off to investigate that tentacle maker!
        The extra mouth, mannequin torso, and an extra head fall almost too close together… First image that came to mind; Slaanesh half male, half female androgynous creature. But maybe a re-roll for more variation? Good ol’ 69? Your call.

      • Wudugast

        Ok, now I have several ideas to juggle (which is good, obviously). I like the idea of a two-headed chaos marine, the only issue I’m having at the moment is whether to make it part of the Noise Marine squad or putting it in Squad Abholos with the rest of the ‘unmarked’ marines. At the moment I’m thinking of the latter, although I do like the idea of a Slaanesh half-and-half androgen – I’m just not quite sure what to do with it yet. Whilst dryfitting some ideas I did actually find a suitable female torso in my bitzbox (wow, that makes me sound like a serial killer…) which then gave me an idea for a Daemonette Alluress, although it would push my greenstuff skills a lot so may or may not happen. As an unexpected plus this is encouraging me to crack on with my daemonettes so maybe we’ll see them soon.
        69 incidentally falls within ‘Bestial Face’ which covers everything from 41 to 175. I’ve already got an idea for that, see my reply to Alex below.

  • Alex

    Can I bag 151? My youngest boy uses it all the time as a ‘really really big number’… (as in ‘I’m 151 hungry’, and ‘I love you 151’). I’m also convinced that he is some kind of conduit to the dark realms.

    • Wudugast

      You can indeed bag 151. I have an idea that makes use of the Bestial Face (which covers, I’ve just noticed, everything from 41 to 175) from the Wrathmongers box to make a Khorne beserker. However a quick look at your blog and I discover you’ve already done something similar (and dare I say it better) with Mordaren so I’m going to have to up my game! Leave it with me (suggestions and input always welcome of course 🙂 )

      • Alex

        Aw, sorry mate – beat you to it! Nothing to say that you can’t use it too though, it’s the perfect head for a Khorne nutter!

  • Wudugast

    UPDATE: As a result of my somewhat nomadic job/lifestyle I’m currently separated from my copy of Slaves to Darkness by several hundred miles. I’m still working on the suggestions I’ve had (expect to see them soon) but if anyone wants to chip in with new ideas I will work on them, but it won’t be for a while. Cheers!

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